Happy Holidays everyone! This is the best time to bond with your loved ones and enjoy the things you love to do with them.

Well, anyway, 2013 has been a roller coaster ride for me. There's a lot of things that are really hard to understand why it had to happen in all aspects of my life. But nevertheless I'm hoping for the best that everything will be unravelled why I have to go through all those stuff in God's perfect time. He's the only one right now who's truly there for me, truly understands and loves me unconditionally. I'm leaving everything up to Him and I have genuinely faith in Him that despite all the hardships I'm currently experiencing, things will eventually fall into place. Yes, life can be cruel at times but you just have to look always at the brighter side of it for you to understand certain things that are truly understandable.

Additionally, I've been hurt so many times already by insensitive people around me, by people very close to me. I don't wanna hold grudges against anyone but I just can't help it. I'm only human. I know in time, I'll learn to forget everything but not anytime soon, as they have hurt me bigtime. And the saddest part is, I have to face everything all by myself,  coz there's no one I can turn to at this very moment, that makes things even harder for me. All I have right now is Faith. Yes, faith. I believe that this too shall pass. I absolutely believe in that.


I'm also very discouraged with my blog's page rank now since it has a pr of 0 already and this thing demotivates me to blog that often. Maybe the big reason for this is that I haven't blogged for like 6 months I think. However, I just so love this personal blog of mine and I will do everything to raise its pr again. And besides, this is the only blog I have right now that is still up and running so I have to take care of this one.

And on a lighter note, enjoy your holidays guys and have a blast! Pardon me again for the drama that I just jotted down. This is just the only outlet for me to burst everything out. ( lol )

Hello everyone! It has been quite some time now since the last time I updated this blog and I just missed this little haven of mine so much. I have been on hiatus for like 3 months now and whew! that was such a long time already.

I know I had been jotting down so much drama 3-4 months back, and please do understand me guys why I had to write down those kind of stuff here( lol ). I just needed to vent out what I exactly felt during those times,  and this blog is just the perfect platform for me to voice out everything that I don't have the courage to confide to the people close to my heart. I must admit that I'm still hurting now but I'm definitely much better these days than the past months. ( I needed to be okay 'coz that's the best thing to do, right? lol ).

Wow! I just realized now that 3 months had passed already. Time just runs so fast. I went through so much things the past months and those were one of the hardest scenarios that I needed to deal with. During those tough times, I felt like that I'm all alone, and there's no one to turn to, that they are all against me. What's so disappointing was that, the person who started it out or the main reason behind it, was the same person you thought who would protect you, but sadly, it was the other way around. I had been judged, called names by the people involved, which is very painful on my part because they really don't know the whole story behind it, they don't know the real me. He already said he was sorry for the trouble he had caused, but I have no idea at all if he's sincere about it.

What had happened to me made me realized that I need to be more careful the next time around, don't ever make decisions too soon or if you're just carried away by your emotions, don't rush things, and you really have to be more wiser in choosing people to trust with. Don't trust so easily since you would regret that in the end. Yes, I have learned my lesson the hard way but that's a fact of life, I can't turn back time. I just have to leave everything to God, that He'll give me more strength, that I'll get over him anytime soon ( which is so hard on my part, because I realized now that I really have a strong feeling for him despite everything that had happened ). I really have to be strong because he's not worth my tears, I deserve someone better, and I believe that someday, I'll finally meet that special someone who would treat and love me right, ( I'm keeping my fingers crossed ).

Do you honestly think that this particular girl did regret everything she has done? Why she didn't give her all just to work everything out? Well, here's what she wants to tell right in front of your face. She doesn't have even just a single regret about what happened like why she's holding back, why she had a lot of shortcomings and why she broke up with you several times in the past because she believes that those were the right things to do or should I say the best things that she should do, because you aren't worth the time and the energy. Yup, you read it right, you aren't worth the effort and not worth the wait.

Don't you ever think that she can't move on with her life without you because you're definitely wrong. Oh please don't be too confident about yourself dude, since I tell you, you aren't good enough. She can live her life without you and even better off without you dude. She's even very thankful about why everything had to happen because she believes that she deserves someone better than you. Someone who's true enough and genuine enough.
Yes, she may learned her lesson the hard way, but that's a fact of life. We all need to go through such mistakes in life because that would make you a much wiser and a much better person than you are in the past. Thanks to all your lies, she didn't believe every single thing you said though, because from the very beginning, she knew that they weren't really true simply because they were too good to be true. And I just want to suggest something, that I hope next time you'll have a better script, because you know what? That was the dumb*** script she has ever heard ( LMAO ). So you better be good next time around. And one more thing, kudos to you! 'coz you're definitely on top of her list as the most liar she has ever encountered. You're just one of those jer** out there.

You aren't really successful in making her think or feel that you're different from them because from the very start, she already felt that you're just one of them. I hope you're happy with all of your insensitive actions and thanks for letting this girl go. It's your loss not hers because she's just one of the few girls out there who's just so genuine about their feelings and who would not make even a single thing to break the trust or to break her partner's heart. This girl can honestly say that she's a good person and God knows what's really in her heart or how true she is, so I believe He will give the right person for her at the right time.

At least now, She'll no longer have a hard time figuring things out and will no longer have that guilt feeling anymore, 'coz after all, she has been very honest with you and the only one who's been honest in the relationship. She can finally wear a smile now and can definitely tell the world, that she's already genuinely happy because you aren't in her life anymore.

I really don't know what to say or think at this very day. All I know is that I'm deeply hurt about what happened today. I've waited the whole day for you to utter those words but you failed me again big time. You really knew from the very beginning that this particular thing means a lot to me and not taking it seriously would really upset me, but sadly, you don't seem to care anymore about my feelings. I don't want to think that you chose not to greet me on that day as I'll be disappointed. And it's just so heart-wrenching as well to realize that this one is no longer a big deal for you.


At times, I just really want to ask you if what do you still want from me? Since you can't even prove to me that you're indeed a real deal and can't even walk the talk. I'm asking you to please stop all your lies and once and for all, be honest with me. Be man enough to admit that you did something wrong behind my back, and you didn't mean most of the things you said to me from the very start or should I say, most of them were all lies. In all honesty, even though most of the things you uttered were too good to be true, I'm still hoping that some of those stuff would happen sooner or later.

For quite some time, I really tried to hold on to whatever we have right now, but I just couldn't take it anymore. The pain is just so overwhelming so I want to say to myself that it's finally over. I may not be the perfect girl, a goody-two shoes type of girl back then, but God knows that I'm a better person now. He really sees how true or genuine I am now, that's why I can honestly say that I don't deserve all these. I'm trying my very best that the person I chose to be with would still be very proud of me, despite of my mistakes in the past. I deserve to be happy as well since all these years I went through so much already. All I just wanted is someone would treat me right and would make me feel how precious or special I am to him. That I'm just the only girl he wants to grow old with.

From this day on, you'll no longer hear anything from me. I'm not gonna respond to all your lies again. I'm not gonna let myself to get hurt over and over again. I told you a thousand times that no matter how hard it is to be in a long distance relationship, I would definitely stick around with you as long as you give me enough reasons to hold on, I'm not really gonna give-up on you. But nevertheless, I just realized that I'll not be genuinely happy if we'll continue to be like this. Yes, you aren't giving me anymore even just a few good reasons to stay so I'm just gonna walk away. I'll be bidding goodbye now 'coz I have had enough already, and I hope you'll be happy as well with all the decisions you made.

Why is it so hard to leave a person who's just making you cry each day? Simply because you felt that you have been taken for granted most of the time. And no matter how insensitive his actions were, you still chose to accept and have learned to understand those things just because you badly want to be with him, and you think that he's the only person that you want to spend the rest of your life with.

Yes, it's just so easy to say that you need to let go of that person, like what most people around you would always tell you, but in all honesty, it is a very difficult thing to do. I know a lot of girls are in this tough situation as well, wherein all we want to do is to just keep all the pain and would try our very best to understand everything just to be with that person.


Being in love is not always a bed of roses, that sometimes you need to go through all the hurt and just ignore the pain, which is kind of sad. I believe that not all people who are deeply in love and in a relationship with a certain person do not necessarily mean that they are indeed the happiest people on Earth, 'coz I can honestly attest to it.

At times, we asked ourselves why is it so hard to be genuinely happy? When in fact, you're already with the person who could give you reasons to smile each day. Why can't some people remain consistent and why can't they even walk the talk? I hope one day, this particular person would learn how to value this girl more, and would get to realize that she's just too precious to lose or to be taken for granted. I honestly believe that if this thing will happen real soon, she will no longer have to say that "I have had enough and it's already the perfect time for me to forget you. I should love myself more, and give more time for myself, which I truly deserve."

Today is the day! I have been thinking about this thing the past weeks and I just felt that maybe today is finally the right time to figure things out.

Actually, in all honesty, I'm quite scared and a bit confused nowadays that for the second time, I might disappoint a lot of people again. The same persons that I had hurt several years back. I hate seeing them sad because that is my number one weakness. However, I have to face everything courageously since this the best thing that I can do at this very moment. I have to admit that I'm in a very difficult situation now since this is not yet the perfect time for this one, but nevertheless, if it will be given to me, I would definitely accept it wholeheartedly. And besides, I believe that there's one particular person who would be very ecstatic if the outcome is something that he's been waiting to happen and have been prayed for, for several years now. Thinking about him and how he would be very excited for the two of us, is already enough for me to be strong and yes, I'll be happy to seize the moment with him. I just hope that everything will fall into place, and the persons that are very close to my heart, would one day get to accept my decision and will learn to be happy for me as well.